Attention Span to Nowhere

Just launched a new blog. Blah.

Revisionism

Give credit where it is due: Joe Biden takes a stand against the ghastly ads castigating McCain for putting duty ahead of touch-typing speed:

Asked why it was done, he said: "I didn't know we did it and if I had anything to do with it, we'd have never done it."

For what it's worth, I feel badly about my partisan slamming of Biden. He's not a bad guy.

Do Bears Eat Trolls?

There are left-wing Alaskans everywhere you look, all 100% genuine, you bet. Doubt this? Just look at the comments section of an online New York Times editorial bashing Alaska. The fourth commenter claims to live in Alaska, the fifth to have “lived there for a long time,” while the thirteenth begins, “I’m sitting about a mile from where the Knik Arm Bridge was planned to go.”

Say What Girl

Sour grapes, Carly style:

Fiorina was asked by a St. Louis radio station announcer if she thought Sarah Palin had the experience to run a company like Hewlett-Packard. Fiorina replied, “No, I don’t. But you know what? That’s not what she’s running for.”

Another way to answer the question would have been, something like, perhaps: “Yes.”

Think. On. Your. Feet. Or. Not.

Identity Crisis

Rich Miniter asks what happens if Obama, you know, uh, loses:

A rejection of Obama can only mean one of two things: a rejection of the 1960s formulation of liberalism (the current formulation, alas) or that America is deeply racist. Too many of them will go for the second hypotheses.

Too many think that elections turn on identities, not ideas.

In defeat, will Obama appeal for calm? Probably not..

Another New Low for the Washington Post?

Sensing events moving against their candidate, the Washington Post emptied its political bilge tanks -- right across the front page of their Friday paper. And you thought Obama's lipstick smear was crude.

The first inky slick surfaced with a smear of Cindy McCain, “A Tangled Story of Addiction,” with the subhead, “Consequences of Cindy McCain’s Drug Abuse Were More Complex Than She Has Portrayed.”

The “more complex than portrayed” excuse for exhuming a circa-1991 story is pathetic. What’s next? Has she “neglected to mention” a 1993 parking violation? Has she "omitted the full truth" about an unreturned library book from 1965? Has MediaMatters taken over the Post newsroom?

In case you miss the piece’s malicious intent, it runs with a picture of Cindy McCain flashing a 500-watt grin – a jarring, sophomoric insult in the context of the “consequences of drug abuse.” Ever so subtle, guys. (The online edition omits this over-the-top propaganda trick.)

The second inky smear appears next to the first: “Palin Links Iraq to Sept. 11 In Talk to Troops in Alaska.” Here, let's take a peek:

Gov. Sarah Palin linked the war in Iraq with the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, telling an Iraq-bound brigade of soldiers that included her son that they would "defend the innocent from the enemies who planned and carried out and rejoiced in the death of thousands of Americans."

The idea that the Iraqi government under Saddam Hussein helped al-Qaeda plan the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, a view once promoted by Bush administration officials, has since been rejected even by the president himself. But it is widely agreed that militants allied with al-Qaeda have taken root in Iraq since the U.S.-led invasion.

Great, the Post finds fault in a speech to an Iraq-bound brigade. I could go on, but you get the idea.

Barack Earl Carter

Raise your lawn's IQ: Got your Barack Earl Carter yard signs, right here. They leave liberals so puzzled they forget to steal them.

Aw, shucks

As I predicted last week, “In coming days and weeks, expect to see a quieter, more self-deprecating, and even thoughtful-appearing Biden.”

Today, we are given a startling admission, right from the show horse’s mouth: Hillary was the way to go:

'Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States,'' Biden said. ''She is qualified to be president of the United States of America. She is easily qualified to be vice president of the United States of America, and quite frankly, might've been a better pick than me.''

“See, he’s humble! He’s really humble,” will come the talking points. “What a guy.” But, much as I hate to remind you, this is a politician we’re talking about, specifically a Senator. And more specifically, Biden. It doesn’t work.

The Scripted Candidate

He can’t get out of his own way. His political instincts are misfiring. Questions are being asked. Is Obama off his game? People want to know.

From Bloomberg:

The campaign's ``novelty has worn off,'' said Representative Bill Pascrell, a New Jersey Democrat. The Obama campaign ``seems to have lost its speed, its response time.''

Pascrell’s right about the novelty, of course, but the speed and response time? It was never there. When you’re the change candidate, parrying your opponent’s every utterance as “same old this” or “more of the same that,” you look like you’re going 80 mph standing still.

But when you lose change (and reform, to boot), suddenly the Left’s scriptural candidate is revealed to be the scripted candidate. You find yourself responding, explaining what you meant to Letterman, blaming the media, overshooting, and generally stepping in it.

Are the speechwriters supposed to scream like that? Is that smoke coming out of their ears? Now it’s events that look like they're going 80, and you’re standing still.

Never go full Lincoln

If the return of Reverend Wright and Bill Ayers wasn’t enough, now Obama has Lincoln Chafee calling America’s favorite hockey mom a “cocky wacko.” -- try saying "cocky wacko" three times fast without sounding like a parrot. Can't you just picture some Obama staffer (after dialing directory assistance): “Um, thanks for that, Lincoln. Thanks, uh, for all you do. For all you do every day. Really. Now please, shut the heck up. Please.”

All Together Now

Now that “community organizer” has become a joke, Obama’s less cerebral surrogates have resisted pleas to throw the term under the bus (talk about a bumpy ride) and are actually trying to rehabilitate the unfortunate phrase. They are even pushing the talking point that Jesus was a, um, community organizer. Are they suggesting Jesus got liberal funding to organize black churches for a corrupt political machine?

Wait – hang on – according to New York’s skirt-chasing governor, it seems “community organizer” is racial code for “black.” Who knew?

Remember, activists, if you keep "community organizer" in everyone's ear, it will regain its lost esteem. And while you're being useful, why not use "liberal" as much as possible? Those Republicans just like to ruin perfectly good words, don't they? Keep up the good work.

The Angry Party

While Obama is calling the governor from Alaska a pig in his stuttering, stammering stand-up routine, “comedian” Bill Maher insists she is a “snarling bitch.”

"It was like, wow, I will send (Obama) whatever I have to keep this snarling bitch out of the White House."

September 11 is around the corner and Maher figures a new idiotic remark will weaken his association with an old idiotic remark.

Obama: Her Pig. Him Old Fish.

Why are they attacking women and senior citizens?

The Obama campaign is clearly in disarray, and has resorted to heaping the crudest abuse on their growing list of enemies, which now apparently includes women and old people. Said Obama: "You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It's still going to stink after eight years." Yikes.

Obama’s media friends are feverishly assembling montages of Republicans using the “lipstick on a pig” cliché over the years (Breaking news: Politicians Use Clichés). Unfortunately for Obama, the audio of the quote is unambiguous: With careful comedic timing, Obama meant the pig remark to be a slam. He meant to call a war hero an “old fish.” His audience roared its approval. What audacity! He fairly basked in their applause.

Only an idiot could miss Obama’s intent. Consequently, only idiots will buy his spin when he tries to convince the American people that this persistent Democrat talking point is an “innocent remark.”

Rethinking Biden

Now that they've gotten a load of Palin, Team Obama is staring at the prospect of a nationwide Reagan Democrat eruption. More immediately, they must rethink Biden’s role for the rest of the campaign.

Biden’s plain folks routine is clearly over: Next to a real outsider, his Scranton shtick risks sounding contrived. And as for hopping an Amtrak out of Washington every night, forget it. Compared to Juneau, Delaware may as well be inside the Beltway.

Obama must also reevaluate deploying his veep as bad cop. Although Biden still matches seniority with McCain enough to continue jabbing at the respected warrior (something Obama is wise to avoid), it won't work against Palin.

In coming days and weeks, expect to see a quieter, more self-deprecating, and even thoughtful-appearing Biden. And he’ll have to stay in character – remember how Gore creeped people out by changing his personality from debate to debate.

And Biden’s handlers have to keep the “I think I probably have a much higher IQ than you do” Biden at bay (A fit of pique would be like throwing a Raggedy Andy made of lunch meat into the ring -- fifty on the bulldog, and pass the popcorn).

The likely fallback position for Biden is to emphasize his experience in general and foreign experience in particular. Prattling on about Nagorno-Karabakh and whatnot won’t move too many undecided voters, but it avoids the many disasters Biden could talk his way into.